Beauty in ashes

I was sitting in the drive-thru at the bank this afternoon waiting for my deposit slip to come back and was looking around like I always do, pretty much being bored in the wait. For some reason I felt the Lord whisper to me "Why don't you really open your eyes and see what you see?" I took off my sunglasses and really starting taking in my surroundings...the greenness of the grass, the butterflies flitting about, the deep purple and bright pinks of some flowers in a yard across the street, a little rabbit taking advantage of the lush shadiness of a grove of trees. At that moment it was like I was seeing all this for the very first time, even though I'd been to the bank on this errand a thousand times before. This scene is played out everyday in a million different neighborhoods in this world and just then it dawned on me, the immenseness of God. Every blade of grass accounted for, every leaf on a tree, every butterfly alit on a flower. But then I got even deeper in thought as I contemplated the science of it all, how each and every creature on this earth is different. How the Lord, in one breath, created this beautiful nature that surrounds us right down to the scientific complexities that keeps the seasons in cycle...from death to rebirth. In that very second the way I saw my world changed. Lately I have become bored with my life and trepidatious of the changes that are coming. My daughter has just turned 18 and soon she will be going to school and no longer at home. I'm not sure I'm ready to let her go. As much as parents always kid around about their child moving out and having a house to themselves, inside that 18 year old still feels like their little baby. Where did these 18 years go?? Wasn't it only yesterday that I rocked her to sleep and stroked her little face, wiped her tears when she hurt and laughed along with her as I tickled her feet? I'm not by nature a very frightened person. God has blessed me with a great deal of fortitude, however, the thought of my daughter leaving gives me a huge pit in my chest. I know deep down that I've taught her well and that God has his hand on her and loves her even more than I do. So why then could I cry at the thought of her taking her first steps into this big world? I just want to hold her in my arms and keep all of the world's hurts from her. I know though, that I can't do that. She must experience things on her own to help shape the woman she is to become and to teach her to rely on the Lord in times of plenty and in times of want. Funny....isn't that what He is doing with me right now? trying to teach me to let go of what I hold most dear on this earth, entrust it to Him and KNOW that He will protect and guide her even when I'm not near? God is also filling the void that is going to be there with old and new friends. My friend Gretchen is such a blessing to me. She always knows the right thing to say, even when it might not be what I want to hear, to make me feel better. She and I laugh and cry and laugh some more. Her little ones help me remember what it's like to have a houseful of laughter and life. Why does it always seem to amaze us when God takes care of our need even before we realize what that need is? Isn't He awesome?? :)

So the next time you're waiting in line somewhere, open your eyes as if it's the first time you've ever seen.....look at things in a bigger way and realize the awesomeness of a Father that created all of this for you. You'd be surprised...there truly is beauty in ashes.